I am beginning to question myself if this is really going to work out.
I could still vividly recall the first few times I brought my daughter to the kinderopvang (daycare), and how much I felt guilty leaving her there with strangers, and how much more difficult was it for me or my husband to see her cry the moment she sees us when it is time to pick her up. It is this feeling that she gives us, as if trying to say "where were you guys and why did you leave me here?" Hence, the following days after, our daughter became somewhat clingy as if afraid that we are going to leave her.
Perhaps it would be somewhat "easier" (for the lack of word) if I only have to be away for 1- 2 days, and if the travels are around the Netherlands or even within the continent. But a week or perhaps a few days more, and as far as 5,000 and even as much as 10,000 kilometers away?
The reality that things are no longer the same (and in some ways I have also changed) is truly sinking in.
I consulted hubby the nth time "will you and our baby be able to manage without me?" He assured me that although it will be difficult, they would be able to find their way.
He simply quipped back: "What about YOU, will you be okay?"
Somehow I could not bring myself to answer.
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I have a lot of ideas running through my mind and I am getting excited. I have been searching a lot from the internet and looking through stores but somehow I could not find stuff here in Holland! Frustrating.
The only alternative is to either order stuff from the U.S. or request my mom to buy at home and bring these with her when she comes over.
I know I still have some time but my brother-in-law triggered this all, just by asking if we have any plans for my daughter's first birthday. Trust the Dutch agenda, they really have to plan ahead, especially when it comes to their summer thing.
My mind is pretty much occupied by tubbietoast and Po. Now I can't stop thinking (while half awake) how on earth can we transform our garden into teletubbyland.
3 comments:
it is difficult to be away from your family particularly if you have small kids--the sense of guilt, separation anxiety, etc. anyways, good luck with the party preparation!
Our baby Jo-Lo cries whenever he sees someone leave the house. Kahit sino yun, basta hindi sya kasama, iiyak. Which makes it really difficult to leave him behind when I go back to Manila to work. So I stay until he sleeps, then sneak off. Huhu
IG: exactly...regarding the party, i am quite excited to plan for my daughter's big day, and the granny will be here to celebrate with us. nice. punta ka.
Watson: Ang hirap no? I guess fathers experience the same. My husband doesn't look forward going on long business trips as well.
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