It all seems to be a dream. I am still grieving from the sudden loss of my eldest brother. It is doubly difficult when you are far away and that you feel quite distant from reality.
I could still remember the phone call, the long flight back home, our one week stay in Manila, the flight back to the Netherlands, and having to drag myself to work. The first day after coming back from a very emotional trip, I wondered "what the hell am I doing in this office...or in this country'?
It is a known fact that life on this earth is temporary and that anytime we can go. But it doesn't really hit you until someone very close to you, someone you grew and lived with, someone who can still be considered young, in an instance can just be gone. It really jolts you.
Loss is painful. This is such an understatement.
The only consolation I have is at least we were able to spend time as a family during the last holidays. My daughter really bonded with my brother and I still vividly recall them dancing together. I am hanging on to the memories.
I would like to think that during our last visit, at least we were able to still say "good bye" without knowing that it would be our last time to see him. It consoles me that until now my daughter still talks about him with fondness.
His spirit will remain deep in our hearts. There is no day that I don't think of him and I know that he will always be with us and that he will always forever live within us.
