Driving with J. Cool

J. Cool is my Dutch driving instructor. Although I have been driving in Manila for several years, I decided to take a refresher course to give me back the confidence and theoretical knowledge (as how my husband puts it) on how to supposedly drive properly and safely. I am just hoping that the lessons would make me unlearn my Manila driving habits, which proves to be more difficult than learning driving from scratch.

What makes the weekly lessons more interesting is that not only do I get to learn the proper technics and rightful road behaviour (i must stress this again), but it has also been a weekly encounter of cultural exchanges. You see J. Cool does not have a lot of as he puts it "buitenlander" (foreigner) students. Several years ago, he had a Filipina student and I don't know what they discussed but J. Cool has certainly made his own impressions about life in the Philippines or in any developing country in general.

The weekly conversations (in Dutch of course ) get to be more interesting as I find myself having to answer amusing and almost ridiculous questions from J.Cool. I can't blame the guy because he is not really that exposed to foreigners or to other cultures or should I say never really had the interest to do so. Questions (or more like a statement) such as "You only drive old second hand cars in Manila?"...."Did you learn to drive on your own? (apparently the other Pinay student learned by driving his uncle's jeep)"..."Do you have airconditioning system?"..."Where do you go when you get sick...do you have doctors and decent hospitals?"..."Do you have supermarkets like here in Holland?" J. Cool was also very curious to know how I ended up living in several countries. Two weeks ago, he asked: Are most Filipinos in the Netherlands refugees or asylum seekers?". Clearly J.Cool doesn't have any idea at all of what he is talking about! Do I get bothered about such comments? If you would have asked me some 10 years ago, I would have said yes. But living abroad for several years has taught me to deal with certain ignorances of people. For me, such encounter is always a chance to share something about the culture I come from and hopefully people will be enlightened. I never deny that the Philippines is a developing country and such that majority of the people live below the poverty line. I always end up having interesting conversations when it comes to life in the Philippines. However, there is more to the Philippines than just being poor. Living abroad has always been a challenge especially when you come from a developing country. You just have to learn how to laugh off those stupid prejudices or misconceptions about foreigners from the third world. Admittedly, I haven't really encountered blatant discrimination but more of the subtle ones which are just as annoying. My ex-landlady in London admitted to me (when I was about to terminate my lease) that she would never rent out her flat to middle easterns or blacks, and that she only considers highly educated Asians. I was so put off by her statement that I had to remind her that it was her former British tenant who actually made a mess out of her place. Sometimes you would expect that people coming from the supposedly "developed" world would have more progressive ideas or would be more open minded. Unfortunately, this is not so. Once my ex-landlady asked me "Did you know that your next door neighbours are just living in? They are not really married". Duh! Likewise here in the Netherlands, it might be suprising to know for an outsider that while the Dutch is perceived to be very liberated, there are still a lot of areas here that lean towards the more conservative ideas or values.

I have encountered a lot of J.Cools in my life where their world is just confined within a small box, almost unaware that there is a bigger world other than the comforts of their homes. In a way it is quite pathetic. My Venezuelan classmate who happens to be black told me that some Dutch are surprised that there are black people in South America, just as some would ask me how on earth I learned how to speak English. When I first came to Boston, I really hated it when men would describe me as "exotic", perhaps just because I am non white? I usually respond that as far as I am concerned, they (the white guys) looked pretty exotic to me as well. In certain instances, I also realized that it doesn't matter if you are well educated, skilled or non-skilled, having a good job or a low paying one, well dressed or not, etc., but some people already have some prejudices about you on the basis of your race or color, or you being simply a foreigner. Therefore it is even useless to try to prove or explain that there is more to you than your skin color. Afterall at the end of the day, you know yourself better and it is even such a waste of time and effort to deal with such people.

In a way I am thankful that I come from and have lived in a developing country such as the Philippines. I think growing up in the Philippines has made me more aware about the bigger world outside my country which led me to explore my capabilities and other possibilities. It made me more curious, and most importantly made me more sensitive and appreciative of the differences or even similarities between my background and the countries which I temporarily consider "home". The confluence of cultures has definitely made me a much better and well rounded person. There is no question that I come from a small, poor, developing country but that doesn't say anything about how much bigger my inner world has become.