Far and Away

If it were not for the strong objection of my family, we would be now on our way home. Despite the fact that our gynecologist gave her 100% approval for us to take the 14 hour flight, my family back home advised us not to take unnecessary risks of traveling while me being pregnant (and my first pregnancy at that). After several discussions, my husband and I decided to give in to the request of my overly concerned family, if only to pacify their worried minds. But I must say it was a very difficult and painful decision for me to make, as I really look forward to go home every year, and to wait after I give birth seems to be forever.

It didn't help that I got a call today from a Russian acquaintance whom I met in school while taking Dutch lessons. She called to check if any of my family was affected by the recent mudslide. However, the news from her side was not at all good -- she is simply devastated by the sudden death of her 54-year old father three weeks ago and two weeks later her grandmother, and considering she has only seen them healthy and strong six months ago. She is leaving next week for two months to be with her mother and siblings to give them the necessary moral support.

Hearing these kind of news affect me because it makes me realize of my own situation, being far away from home, away from my family. I always experience a sense of panic whenever I get unexpected calls or text messages during ungodly hours from the Philippines. When my grandmother died a year and a half ago, I was busy preparing to start a presentation when I got a call from Manila on my mobile. It was not a very pleasant experience to go on with business and come home later than night to face the reality that someone close to you has passed away. My lola died at home after having her dinner, without giving any sign that the end of her life was near.

I have always made it a point to visit my family once a year, no matter how it hurts my budget or savings. My choice is clear-- I would rather spend quality time with my family particularly my parents, while they are all still healthy and alive, rather than save the cash, buy a luxury item or travel somewhere. As much as I could, I would prefer not to wait for a couple of years to see them or only visit when an illness strucks. Besides the Philippines will always be my home and living away has deprived me enough to be with the people I am closest to, so the yearly visit is somewhat a rightful compensation.

This year, I am going to miss my youngest sister's graduation from university which I was looking forward to attend. I was also looking forward to show my pregnant self to my family and friends, as somehow seeing the real thing is different from just looking at the photos. But I guess I have to wait a couple more months to be home again. For sure, the next trip will be a new experience with the three of us traveling. One good thing though is that my mom is definitely coming to visit us in time to see her fourth grandchild. This is something that I can look forward--to finally share the experience of motherhood with my mother, even if I am far away from home.