I have always sort of assumed that M will always be around, at least until the next 40 years or so. You don't really think of death, not when you are only 40.
I really feel for my brother. M is his bestmate since he was 10, his bestman during his wedding and the ninong (godfather) to his son. M is almost like a brother to us. Whenever we talk about our childhood and our growing up years, he was always part of it. Special occassions such as Christmas, New Year, birthdays and even summer breaks, M was always around. He just lives across our place. For several times, I left home, came back and left home again, M was just there.
I was hoping that he would hang on. I even wrote him a letter two months ago to let him know that I was thinking of him and that I was looking forward to see him soon.
Until now I have to really convince myself that I won't see M the next time I come home and that he will never ever be there.
